You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
