Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
