Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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