arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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