You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
