Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
