i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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