At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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