we're chasing vodka with high fives
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
