You're completely useless in the revolution.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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