What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
