yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
