that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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