they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
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