There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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