dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
