I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
