you guys were way drunker than both of me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
how drunk are you?
Several
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
