Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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