Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
