I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
