The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
