i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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