I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
