You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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