Pappa wants mamma naked
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Farmville is her only friend.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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