Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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