that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
