so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
