This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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