How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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