i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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