I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
