This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
