I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize