Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
What a dumb baby whore.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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