we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
