***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize