Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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