you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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