My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
