I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
