im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
