So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
