He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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