Banned from zoo.
Again?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
