Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize