it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
