I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
