Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
