So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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