he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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