ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
