I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
