You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
