Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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