actually, I'm a sock model
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
