She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
