jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
