just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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