What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
