it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
