Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize