I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize