seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
whose parrot is this?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
