big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
