he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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