So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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