Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
