For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
