I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
