Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
